


Heart on Your Sleeve

by LapisLazooti



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, Banter, Bisexual Peggy Carter, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Clint Barton is a Good Ally, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Gay Bucky Barnes, Happy Bucky Barnes, I think?, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, One Shot, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pride, Pride Parade, Romantic Fluff, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Trans Natasha Romanov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 07:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14996213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LapisLazooti/pseuds/LapisLazooti
Summary: No more hiding. No more secrecy. That's why they were headed out to a pride parade today, to celebrate how goddamn lucky they were to be here, how lucky they were to have each other. To show their love off, to give a big old middle finger to anyone who opposed it and to tell them that they're here to stay, for good. No more. Steve almost tears up thinking about it, what his first pride parade with his fiance means to him.





	Heart on Your Sleeve

Steve thought Bucky looked like a divine being. How his damp hair fell over his shoulders, chocolate locks clinging to his cheeks and forehead. The way droplets of water glided down every curve of his form as he stepped out of his shower, the glint of natural light on the vibranium prosthetic. The natural light coming from the open window.

It seemed like such a mundane thing, just having the window open. But when he and Buck had started going steady, every rendezvous began with closing curtains and locking doors if it was anything beyond a quick visit. And now, they had no need to worry about anyone peeking in and seeing an affectionate kiss or arms around waists or shoulders. Hell, they could even do that in public now. It was a change that was welcomed by the pair.

Steve remembers how dumbfounded he was when he had gotten out of the ice and discovered how wildly different society's view on homosexuality was. There were still people who believed it was a sin, who would protest it. Of course. But six states had even legalized marriage between two people of the same sex - their home state of New York being included. He was unable to articulate how it made him feel when he learned that, but he knew his first thought: He wanted to marry Bucky. He wished he was still around. And when he discovered Bucky was still alive... HIs heart fluttered with hope.

By the time the real Bucky was back, the entirety of the United States had decriminalized same-sex marriage. But with the Sokovia accords and Bucky choosing to go back under...

But now, everything was fine. Perfect, even - they shared an apartment in New York, taking occasional vacations to Wakanda upon T'challa's invitation. Buck was in therapy, now, getting things sorted out after everything he'd been through. And dear god, had his fella been through a lot, too much.

...But he was getting better, and Steve was so proud. The vibranium arm seemed to help. It was one less reminder of Hydra.

He was plucked from his own thoughts when he felt Bucky's lips against his forehead, pressing a delicate kiss there. "You doin' okay, doll? Look like you're kind of out of it." Faint concern laced his voice and the slate blue eyes that peered down at him. Jesus Christ, he was gorgeous. His features seemed so soft, so caring despite the squared jaw they lay above. His unbrushed hair was drying a bit more as well, becoming a bit fluffy as the moisture left it. It had gotten so long during his stay in Wakanda and Steve thought he looked so magnificent with it. He loved combing his fingers through the wavy tresses, idly braiding it like his mother had taught him, twirling his fingers around the strands. It felt nice. Bucky seemed to like it too, always relaxing in his lap or against a pillow when he played with his hair.

"Just fine, no worries. Just thinking about the past." His lips curved into a small as his gaze flicked between his lover's eyes, like he couldn't decide which one he loved more. (He couldn't. Buck's eyes were so pretty.)

He felt extra cheesy today, and he couldn't quite bring himself to care. Bucky's fingers entwined with his own and metal - not from the other's hand - clicked together. They were getting married in less than a month now and Steve was ecstatic. He'd been in love with this man for seventy-eight years, and they could finally make it happen. Finally. Golden rings clinking against a hard surface or sparkling in the right light gave a constant, needed reminder to both of them that they were here now. Together. Forever. No one could rip them apart. There were no more prying eyes or need to pass notes between sneaky hands. No more skulking out of tents in the middle of the night and getting caught, tied to a tree the next day and brutally beaten for your suspected homosexual tendencies until Peggy came by and cussed the offenders out. That was a too-specific example that Steve would rather forget.

Peggy had been so good to him after he told her that he and Bucky were together. She took him to the middle of the field and spoke in hushed tones so there was no chance of being overheard. It was a blubbery confession on his part and a shaky one on hers. Turns out she had a girlfriend back in London, showed him letters between the two as proof when he didn't believe her, thinking it had to be a trap. They were a lot closer after learning about their shared secrets.

No more hiding. No more secrecy. That's why they were headed out to a pride parade today, to celebrate how goddamn lucky they were to be here, how lucky they were to have each other. To show their love off, to give a big old middle finger to anyone who opposed it and to tell them that they're here to stay, for good. No more. Steve almost tears up thinking about it, what his first pride parade with his fiance means to him.

"All good things?" He asked with a cocked brow. He can see the almost glassy haze over Steve's eyes; the only thing stopping him from swooping down and hugging him, reassuring him about whatever's wrong, is that damned dorky smile on his face.

"Mostly," Steve nods. "Thinkin' about us. You. How lucky I am to have you and be with you." He pulls the shorter man forward, robust arms wrapped around his waist and face pressed against the other's lithe but extremely muscular form. Despite the height difference, when Steve is sitting on the bed and Bucky is standing in front of him, he's just the perfect size to hug him like this. He breathed him in - the smell of a somewhat spicy, almost smoky body wash and just... Bucky, flooding his senses. He could hear his heartbeat thrumming calmly, feel the rise and fall of his chest as he took in the air to power this splendid vessel of his. No matter how scarred or broken it was deemed to be by anyone else, Steve frankly didn't give a shit. He'd been beaten and bruised, tortured countless times with marks to show for it, but it was his Bucky. His sweet, brilliant, handsome Bucky- "I love you so damn much. I can't believe I'll finally be able to call you my husband soon it- It feels so right."

Bucky's arms are around him as soon as he can process the embrace. "I love you too, Darlin'. You're gonna make a real good husband." His old Brooklyn accent shone through a bit as he spoke, as it did every once and awhile when he was talking to Steve. It had become even more frequent after they'd moved back to New York and were exposed to the dialect more often. Steve found it incredibly endearing and nostalgic. Special, since it only came out around him.

"You are too. You take such good care of me. Always have." All those times he'd stepped in when the blonde insisted on picking fights with guys twice his size. When he was stuck in bed with anything from a common cold to scarlet fever, Bucky was always there to help in one way or another. Even just when it had been a long day, his body overworked by events that wouldn't have affected anyone else. His partner was always there to hold him at the end of the day. He reluctantly moved his head from Bucky's torso so he could look up at him. Chillingly cool metal was met against his jaw, his chin tilted up as he was captured in a kiss. Steve would never tire of how warm and inviting their kisses were, never rough or invasive even under more passionate circumstances.

Though the chaste kiss didn't last long, he was completely immersed from beginning to end. Hypnotised. "Always will." The corner of Bucky's lips tugged up into the faintest of smiles, although it remained as soft as always. "I just need to get dressed, and I'll be ready to go when you are." Even Bucky seemed to be hesitant to pull back before sauntering over to their shared dresser, towel around his waist tumbling to the floor and revealing his full form, one akin to those seen in Renaissance paintings. He was gorgeous.

A tank top was promptly bundled up and tossed at his head with a laugh. Did he think that out loud? He must have because Bucky was shaking his head in clear amusement despite his cheeks being tinted a faint pink. "Shut it, Punk," He teased. 

"I can't help it when you're just out here looking like a damn model. Put some clothes on if you don't want me to swoon, Jerk." Steve grinned when his fiance turned around to pick the right outfit for the day, he himself wiggling out of the shirt he was wearing to slip into the navy tank top that had been thrown at him. 

He heard the bed creak beneath him before he stood up and made his way over to the dresser to stand beside Bucky. "I hope you're okay with me bein' real affectionate while we're out today. Sam told me a lot of couples show a lot of public displays of affection at pride because they can, and it's safe there, and..."

"Of course that's okay with me." Bucky stopped him before he could finish. He knew why the other wanted to be more affectionate, why today - this month - was so important to him. To the both of them. He was just as ready to show off their relationship as Steve was. Their being out felt so unbelievably belated. He reached into one of the drawers and pulled out a pair of cargo shorts to hand off to Steve.

They exchanged a brief smile and finished getting dressed in an understanding silence. They'd be the only ones there who could truly fathom the weight of being men who loved other men in an America where there was no chance of being accepted, really, because they had lived it. And that was okay, because they had each other. Then and now.

Once they were dressed, Steve paused and turned to him. Nat, who would also be attending, had given them some multi-colored makeup just in case they decided they wanted to go all out and paint their face pride colors. That was yet another thing that had to be explained to them, the concept of pride flags and how they were used, and that there were always people decked out in the colors of their flags at pride events. He opens the top drawer of the dresser - he thinks he remembers putting it there for safe keeping. Maybe that wasn't the best place for that if he wasn't completely sure it was actually there, though.

But it was, the zip-lock baggie with a couple of brushes and a palette of rainbow-colored face paint tucked inside the drawer. He pulled it out to hold it up for Bucky to see. "...Do you want to?"

He looked... Scared for a moment, eyes wide and jaw clenching as he swallowed. He knew why, too, being out and about with your partner was one thing - wearing your identity on your face was another. He didn't have to say anything for Steve to jump in.

"You don't have to. Or we could paint it on your shoulder where it would be more subtle if that would be better for you. I'm going to do it if that makes you feel better, but I'm not going to force you to do anything." He reassured quickly. The last thing he wanted to do was make his fiance uncomfortable.

There were a few seconds of silence. Bucky nods, nervous eyes meeting Steve's. "I'll do it on my shoulder. Maybe next year I can do it on my cheek." He really wanted to be open, he did, it was just... Hard. He'd learned by now not to run into new things in their culture and society too fast, it made his anxiety spike like no tomorrow. But he could start somewhere, and the smile on Steve's face made trying worth it.

Steve nodded and guided him over to sit on the bed, pulling the bag open with a soft 'pop'. He had to think for a second about the order of the colors. Roy G. Biv. Right. Except without the Indigo, this time around. Holding the brush between his fingers reminded him of the old days when he loved to paint, draw, and sculpt whenever he had the time and money for supplies. He and Buck had even taken an art class together. They always chose each other when it came to doing portraits. He was a bit of a perfectionist as he painted the flag onto Bucky's skin, the other's shirt sleeve hiked up around his shoulder as he tried to make all the blocks of color as crisp as humanly possible. "There."

"Jesus, took ya long enough." He teased, earning a light and playful punch to his arm, right beneath where the flag was painted on. "Which cheek do you want yours on?" He paused. "And what colors again?"

"Pink, Purple, and Blue. In that order." Steve said with confidence. He'd memorized it by now, finding deep comfort within the flag and its meaning. It reminded him that he wasn't alone in feeling this way. He stayed perfectly still as Bucky's shaky hand ran the brush along his cheek, the paint feeling oddly cold and almost sticky against his skin.

"It ain't gonna look as good as the one you did for me is, but I did my best." A nervous laugh fell past his lips, and Steve's heart swelled. He loved this man with everything he had, loved each and every single thing about him.

Steve left the room to go check himself in the mirror. The flag was a bit wavy, colors blending and blurring into each other a bit sloppily due to the tremor of his lover's hand. But he loved it regardless. He popped his head back into their shared bedroom, the dorky grin on his face rare to anyone else but Bucky. "Thank you. It looks really good. ...You ready to go now?"

\------

Seeing as the main part of the pride festival and where the parade would be was only a couple of blocks away from their apartment, they decided it would be infinitely easier to walk than try and find a parking spot once they got there. Bucky seemed to be a bit on edge as he walked with Steve's hand in his, his gaze bouncing around anxiously. 

"Are you okay? We can drive instead if you want. Making you comfortable is more important than easy parking." Steve said with a small chuckle. He wasn't exactly sure why Buck seemed to be so skittish. They held hands in public all the time now, and their neighborhood was relatively safe, especially given the time of day. ...And even if something were to happen, it wasn't like they couldn't protect themselves. It's not like it used to be, where Bucky was just a normal guy and Steve was a... much more fragile one. They were both super soldiers. He wondered if there was trauma here for him, or if it was just a bad day.

He received a quick shake of his head in reply. "I'm okay. I just... feel..." He doesn't continue, and Steve doesn't push it. He knows he has a hard time communicating emotions these days and that he's working on getting past that. He understands what he's trying to say, anyway. He feels vulnerable. "I'll be okay once we get there," He reassured. 

And he is. The apprehensive way he held himself melted away, shoulders relaxing as soon as he saw big rainbow flags lining the street. There were a lot of people, crowds not being either of their strong suits, but... This felt different. It wasn't intimidating or claustrophobic. Everyone seemed so happy being themselves here. There were people wearing flags as capes, couples kissing and holding hands openly, people wearing obnoxiously colorful outfits - and it was marvelous. It was Bucky who pulled Steve along towards the crowds now. The blonde hadn't seen him this animated in a long time. As the parade wouldn't be starting for another twenty minutes or so, they wordlessly came to an agreement to wander around the festival for a bit to take it all in.

It took up multiple streets that all intersected. Informational booths run by various organizations and vendors selling an array of pride-themed merchandise lined the roads, sometimes interrupted by tables with games or food vendors. There was even a big stage for speakers and singers, a large sign in front of it to give the entertainment line up for the day, It left both of them in awe, how many people were here to support them and even more breathtaking - how many people there were that belonged to this community, just here in New York. Steve wished he had been ready to come to one of these events sooner. He wished his eighteen-year-old self could come and see this - see that he wasn't alone, see that the hate he felt from others and even himself wouldn't last forever. He would be okay, being himself would be okay. It was okay.

He snapped out of his reminiscing when he heard a familiar voice call his name. Looking over his shoulder, he spotted Nat and Clint slipping easily past the crowds towards them. Nat had changed her hair again, back to her signature red now that they weren't all under-cover war criminals after the Sokovia Accords. It's weirder to see her in civilians clothes when she's not undercover, though, sunglasses on her forehead pushing her hair out of the way and t-shirt and shorts showing more freckled and scarred skin than the woman is usually comfortable with. It's nice to see her at ease here. Her cheek is painted in a similar manner to his, but with pink, white and blue. Steve honestly doesn't know if Clint isn't straight or cis - that was the right term, right? - or if he was just here to support his girlfriend, but he's glad he's here either way. He smiles when he notices the other man's shirt says 'I love my trans Girlfriend' on it.

"Glad you two could make it out today. How does it feel so far?" Nat asks, and Bucky responds before Steve can even open his mouth to reply.

"Amazing," He says quickly. He sounds ecstatic, sincere. 

And Natasha smiles. Even though no one can truly understand how they feel right now in this... joyous environment, at least she can sympathize pretty damn well. Most of the Avengers can too, honestly, but... She knows the most about what they've been through, the violence they've faced simply because they loved each other. Everyone else could only assume based on the time period they grew up in. But man, being on the run together for so long really gives you a chance to share a lot of your life's story. Steve was one of the few who knew most of her secrets, too. "First pride is always one of the more... overwhelming ones. I'm glad you two are having fun."

"We are. What about you two?" 

"We just got here, but I'd say it's a damn good pride so far." Clint chimes in. "I'm seeing more minors here than usual, too. Good to know kids are able to be more open with themselves."

They all nod at that. 

Steve had noticed that too. How many kids there were, whether it be the real little ones with their families or the teenagers with their friends. There was a group of teens not too far away from them who all couldn't be older than thirteen or fourteen, all wearing a variety of flags around their necks as capes and colorful flower crowns in their hair. His heart soared just knowing kids that young were able to be exposed to this, able to know who they were so confidently so young. 

"Want to head over to the parade route and try to get a good spot with us?" She offered, her curled hair swaying as she nodded in what they assumed was the direction of the route. 

The two lovers exchanged a look and a shrug before nodding. They both wanted to see as much as they could of the parade and see what it had to offer. Neither of them had any idea of what to expect, honestly, other than floats and people walking as any parade had. But what kind of floats would there be? What kind of people would be walking in it, for what cause? How many? One good thing about being a bit behind in your own community, and culture in general, was that you were never bored. Always curious, always new things for you to discover that you've missed.

The four made their way through the crowds. It wasn't hard to get where Clint and Natasha were leading them despite the masses of people. They seemed to know the set up pretty well and how to cut between vendors to find empty stretches of sidewalk. The road of the route was separated from the sidewalk by rainbow ribbons. People were lined up against it, either talking amongst themselves or excitedly looking down the road where the floats could be seen lining up in the distance. They managed to get a pretty good spot, all things considered. They were all up against the ribbon where they could see the road clearly, even if it was empty for the time being. And though they could easily fit side by side, Bucky chose to slide in front of Steve, pulling the taller man's arms around his waist. And Steve held him, content. He didn't care if it was the middle of summer and they were outside, surrounded by people, he wanted to hold him right now. Like he had told him earlier, he was absolutely going to be affectionate today.

They earned it. They deserved it.

He pressed a kiss against the side of Bucky's head, lips meeting frizzy hair as the floats started coming up the route. There were all sorts of floats, from local high school GSAs and even churches here to show their support. Ones with drag queens and a couple with local activists in floats decorated in brightly dyed flowers. People throwing out candy, confetti, and glitter out into the crowd. Everyone was just so... Happy. It was such a jubilant atmosphere. Everyone was dressed however they wanted to be dressed, laughing and having fun with friends and significant other's. 

It felt peaceful, despite how it felt like more of a big party than anything. But that might be just him, and how Bucky swayed in his arms, his hand over his own as they watched the parade together. "I love you," He muttered to him. He wasn't sure if Buck could even hear his quiet words over the cheering and the loud music blasting throughout the area. He didn't mind if he couldn't, he didn't even expect a response. He just needed to say it.

"I love you too, Doll." 

Steve smiled. Placing his chin atop the shorter man's head, he simply decided to savor the moment and watch the parade and all of the cheerful people surrounding them. He never understood the meaning of pride more than he did right now, with the love of his life pressed against him and their people gathered like this. 

Dear god, was he proud to be where he was and to have survived what he had to get here.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy pride month! This was an interesting fic for me to write.
> 
> A lot of pondering on the history of this community, on what pride means to me as a Trans MLM and where I fit in. A lot of thinking about stonewall and who helped us get where we are today. Thinking about how I felt when I found out same-sex marriage became legal all over America while I was writing that bit for Cap. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm a sappy bastard and I hope you guys enjoyed this, thank you for reading-


End file.
